With a little help from "Friends Like These"

In February Ana Marie Cox started a new podcast on the Crooked Media network entitled, "With Friends Like These." Ostensibly, the podcast is a mechanism to steer into awkward conversations. Ana and her guests confront the topics we all would rather avoid but really should be discussing. The podcast is nuanced, insightful, and generally wonderful, but even as a fan the latest episode floored me. 

On May 5th, Cox was joined by John Moe of "The Hilarious World of Depression" podcast for a transparent discussion on depression, suicide, and mental health. In this episode, entitled "The Help is Coming from Inside of the House", Ana and John go into detail about their histories with addiction and suicide. It's a very personal episode and one that might feel awkward if you are new to these kinds of open discussions. Going into this specific episode I was unfamiliar with John Moe, and only knew of Ana Marie Cox from "Friends Like These" and her association with MTV News. After listening, I feel like I share many experiences and stories with both of them. They are truly open with their testimonies, and there is nothing else for me to do but thank them for sharing with us. 

I don't think it does any good for me to summarize the episode here, so instead I highly recommend listening. If you have dealt with or are currently dealing with depression, it's uplifting to hear people who have been in your shoes talk so honestly. And if you know someone who is struggling right now, the episode is full of thoughtful tips that can help you reach out. You can find the podcast here or anywhere else podcasts are carried!

Ana Marie Cox showing of the tattoo which symbolizes her survival. 

Credit: https://joshkatzowitz.com/tag/ana-marie-cox/

As the episode played I dove deeper into Cox's catalog of writing and found this article from 2015 entitled Why I Am Coming Out as Christian. It made me appreciate her story even more. Struggling with depression and mental health issues as a Christian can feel isolating and defeating. Are you doing something wrong? Does God hate you or forgive you? Will other people ever actually accept you? All of the negative self-talk that comes with depression can only intensify under the weight of Christianity if you let it. But Cox summarizes her approach so well in her article when she says, "I try, every day, to give my will and my life over to God. I try to be like Christ. I get down on my knees and pray." It's that simple approach that allows her to focus on God and His grace while moving on from the darkness.

This morning as I read that quote, I couldn't help but get on my own knees and cry. Praying to God and thanking Him for loving me through my own journey with depression. As I emerged from the "void" and dealt with the death of my own brother, I found myself in a similar place to Ana. I would never have survived if it weren't for people I love showing me unending grace. So I told God there wouldn't be another day where I didn't try to be like Christ. That is the thought that gets me through the hard days now. That is what centers me when I feel like I hate myself or want to escape from the world. But that understanding didn't come easily. I fought to get there through the lowest of lows. And like the selfish person I tend to be I fought all by myself. If you are feeling low today -struggling with mental health or suicidal ideation- please know that you do not fight alone and that you are loved . By me (even though we may have never met) and by others. There are people out there willing to walk a path with you even though you think you're all alone. I'm a testament to that, my family is a testament to that, and so are Ana and John. 

If you are in need of immediate help call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK. Be well. You are loved.